I found after coming back from NZ, every year ended better than the previous one.
It happened a lot of things in 2011, which I never expected before in my life.
The most important thing was I decided to break up with SP’s father. The first time, I suffered a lot because I still had feeling with him. But this time, thank to that girl giving me that call and pushing me away that dilemma. I couldn’t feel happy at all for a while after all we had been together for 9 years. I fell I’m so lucky that I don’t hate him at all. He is still the father of SP. There is still a lot I need to deal with. I haven’t told our relatives, even my father and his parents. What the hell I don’t want to say anything. Some one said we might reunite. Will we? Will I want to? I don’t think it’s a good ending if we reunite. Okay, if he still loves me, and he can promise he only love me, will I trust him? How can I trust him? His business must be better and he has to have more time with us and will always show up in every special occasion. But if it only lasts for a while, will I suffer again that he is always not around? I don’t think he can promise that. Well, the answer is very clear. So why should I keep silent? But do I need to bother to telling everyone we are not together anymore? It’s not their business, right? Okay, if friends who care about our relationship, I will tell. That’s enough.
I should inform my relative, especially father. Hmm…tough….
Okay, How do I want to have in 2012? Of course, finding sb to love each other…I’m still afraid to expect so much that I will be very disappoint. Well, that’s life. It can bring you happiness and sorrow at the same time, because of this way, I will treasure more what I have, not what I want. Okay, bring it on!!! I know I can handle it somehow, someway.
What else? I just can’t think anything a quarter after. Hope I can meet T in this season and our family can have a great time in Paris!!!
Happy 2012! I believe, it will be a better one becuase I will do as much as possible to make it better!!!
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