From the previous relationship, I had to learn not to expect too much otherwise I would be always disappointed. Well, for the new one, not sure whether it's the new one or not, of course i expect something, but I'm also afraid to expect too much and I will fall into that disaster.
I have a lot of thoughts since I didn't receive the mail everyday. yes, I expect I can receive the mail everyday. Well, I have never been promised to receive that everyday, right? How can I complain? and if it's just between net pal, I wouldn't complain and take the other is just busy and will reply me back sooner or later. Even it won't show up, I wouldn't mind. If we are already in serious relationship, I think I will tell my partner what I feel and what I expect. That would be easy to handle too. Well, what bothers me, we are neither of them. How shall I react? I don't want to disclose my upset, but I don't want to show I care that much neither. What the hell!!! just tell what I feel in a proper way. haha...it must be in a proper way....the question is again what's the proper way. hmm...
The other bothering me is I don't like the excuse of being busy. Well, you can always spare some times for whom you really care a lot whether you are all occupied or not. I think the latter bothers me much more than the former.
added on 12/8
well well well...I think I just need to find something else to occupy my free time. It's good I tried to practic yoga again. Thanks to that I get up so early recently so that I have much more time in the morning. Usually I waste the precious time on the internet, but I'm just aware I can read or exercise in stead. Well, I prefer to exercise, because I need and I want too. I can't just leave SP at home, so I can only choose something at home. no equipment to jog, so yoga is a good idea and I ever learned before. It's also great to do in the morning, to fresh myself. Hope I can continue lo!
Besides, I also want to be a volunteer. With SP, it's not easy to find one we can do together. One colleague suggested me to ask some group for family support, they may be able to think about one way for me. Not sure, so I just sent a letter to ask whether anything suitable for us. Looking forward to hearing good news from them.
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